Flipping the switch
I love riding in all forms. The velodrome, however, sets the stage for most of my developmental milestones. The “track,” in all its sadistic glory, challenges me week after week. It beats me down, then taunts me, “Hey lady, you’re older, chubbier and slower than anyone else out here. You’ll never catch those chicks. You thought you could become an ‘athlete’ after years of being a slug? Yeah, good luck with that.” Each time I set foot into that afzelia wood arena, I battle my own insecurities … in front of an audience … and while wearing spandex.
Something changed in the past three weeks.
It started with a snowball race. August 5. You see, riding the track is a “zen” experience for me. Pedaling in circles as I warm up heightens my awareness. All I feel is my feet making circles. All I hear is the sound of wheels whirring. Thoughts float in and out of my head without much consequence. On this night, something drifted in and stuck, “I am the element of surprise.” Sounds crazy, but there it was. I let it linger. I repeated it a few times, and then I visualized a move from practice earlier that week. When the neutral lap turned into the race, I went up toward the boards and around the pack, swooped down and pedaled like hell. My heart pounded. One lap. No one passed me. Two laps. Again! Then they came. I headed up track and fell back on a wheel knowing my portion of the race was over, but I beamed from ear to ear as they other girls racked up points into the double digits. I earned three measly points, but they were mine.
The next week, another female racer convinced me to come out to the state timed events. Due to lack of participation, I ended up earning a gold medal in the team pursuit and a silver in the team sprint. I participated in two individual events as well. I scoffed, saying I collected medals I hadn’t earned, but I was reminded that something can be said for dedication. And while the medals didn’t hold a lot of meaning outside of showing up to collect them, I felt faster that day. And I knew “just showing up” would eventually lead to little victories I felt I had earned.
